Oh my gosh, there is a hole inside me!!!

On Alpha day 1, even though I hadn't finished the big assignment that was due the next day, I decided to go anyway.This was really rare for me as I usually don't go anywhere before I finish my assignments.

The Alpha course is organized as a series of sessions over ten weeks, typically preceded by an 'Alpha Supper' which often includes the talk "Christianity: Boring, Untrue and Irrelevant?" Each session starts with a meal, followed by a talk (often a video of one by Nicky Gumbel) and then discussion in small groups. The talks aim to cover the basic beliefs of the Christian faith.(Wikipedia)

To be honest, I was disappointed a little when I arrived to the church. That was because there weren't many people than I expected and I was the youngest one there.Also, most of them were Christian volunteers and I couldn't find any non-Christian people beside myself.

But then when I started watching the video, I felt different.What pulled me in was Rev Nicky Gumbel's story.

Nicky shared that he became a Christian after he entered University.I was surprised to hear that he didn't like Christianity before. He said he thought it was boring, untrue and irrelevant. I could totally relate to him! Finally I was able to hear from someone who decided to become a Christian after growing up!

"What made him change his mind? Can that happen to me?" I got really excited.

Nicky said this. "Every human being has this God-shaped hole. People try to fill this hole with wrong things.Money, fame, success, love from others, position, drugs, cigarettes, entertainment etc.But they never feel satisfied. Instead, they feel really empty.

The only thing that can fill in the hole is "The true love" that comes from God. You can't fill in your hole inside you unless you know God.Christianity is not boring, untrue and Irrelevant. Actually, God's love will make your life satisfying and fun.

Nicky shared this one scripture that I will never forget.

"I am the Bread of life, He who comes to Me shall not hunger, He who believes in Me shall not thirst." (John 6:35)

This word really moved me. I always used to think that Christianity was irrelevant in my life.But I knew that deep down, I wasn't really satisfied.

I couldn't rely on my parents, friends or bf to satisfy me 100%. Even if I did well in exams, I only felt momentary pleasure. Then I had to push myself to do even better for the next time. Forcing myself to study harder and harder...The more money I had, the more things that I wanted. There was no end.

"Oh my gosh!!! I have a hole inside me!!!! "

Nicky then said that "If we don't eat the bread (Staple food) we will never feel full. Life without Jesus is like that. Unless you have a relationship with God, you will be hungry and empty forever."

In small group after that I shared with other Christian people,

" I don't know God or Jesus yet, but I realised that I have a hole inside me. It makes sense!"

All the Christians were smiling and they said it's a journey, so it's good to keep on seeking.

It was strange how I felt so comfortable after small group. I was glad that I came to Alpha. So I decided to keep on coming for a while...

Jesus...what does He have to do with me???

2nd week of Alpha, I learned about Jesus Christ.

Growing up in Australia, I heard about Jesus so many times. But when I saw the video, I realised that actually didn't know about Jesus that much...

I didn't know why God sent his Son to die for everyone, why people celebrate his resurrection and I couldn't relate to him at all.

During the small group, things became clear to me but I was still trying to understand things in my head. I didn't get it from my heart. I couldn't still believe that Jesus died and rose again. Well, even if that's true, what does He have to do with me?

It was interesting to hear about who Jesus was to Christians though.

One woman said, "He is like my husband". One man said, "He's my best friend."

Listening to all of this, I was wondering,

"Would I be able to believe in Jesus and get excited about Him like they do?"

I still had doubts, but because I enjoyed learning and spending time with these people I decided to come again the following week.