Oct 27, 2008

How do I surrender???

After that decision I didn't feel much change inside me yet, but I always couldn't wait until the next alpha! I wanted to learn more.

This day we learned about how God guides us in ife.

According to Rev Nicky, we can't do everything on our own.God has a plan for us and God guides us.And it's impossible for us to understand everything about God.Sometimes he answers prayers and sometimes he doesn't. But God is always good.

During group discussion, most of the Christians said that they just need to surrender and give everything to God because He will guide them.

I didn't understand what "surrender" meant so I asked them,

"It's easy to say I surrender but how can you surrender?"

I couldn't imagine myself surrendering... because I can't see God.

One of the non-Christian guys asked me, "Are you scared to surrender?"

I thought about it for a while. "Scared" wasn't the right word... I found it hard to understand.That's because I can thank God when things go well and when I'm happy.
But when bad things happened or when I fet low, I was judging myself and I was blaming myself. During those times, I always forgot about God.

I told them, "I can't get rid of my voice inside me. That's why it's hard to surrender."
When other Christians heard this, they said, it's not really easy to surrender to God 100% and it's a process.Some people can trust God easily and some people take time. I thought that I'll take time too...

But I felt that I was feeling something different... While I was driving back home, suddently my eyes became teary and I felt really warm inside.

I was gradually changing...